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 Once Kate left, things settled down to wait. Aunt B (my smooth-skinned self screamed for us to get out of there but I knew it was too late for running) insisted we have some tea and so we retired from the bathroom to the kitchen. As I sat waiting for the kettle, I scented the air looking for the common smells I associated with boudas--fear, pain, insanity, depravation--but could find none here. Well, I could smell pain mixed with sex but no adrenal soaked, get me the hell out of here pain. It was too weird for me and so I asked to use the bathroom. I also had the strong urge to see my smooth-skinned self one more time before the Beastlord came to kill me.

I stood looking at myself in the mirror and couldn't find the fear I expected to find. Sure I didn't want to die but I'll be damned if there wasn't a part of me that wasn't looking forward to fight for my life. I knew it was all over but to face that impossible fight dead on, no flinching...it was intoxicating. And so of course when I opened the door to go back to the kitchen, I found a bar instead. Damnit. I shut the door and looked around for some clothes, spotting a pair of cheap gray sweats. I slipped them on and opened the door again.

Yep, still Milliways. Well, screw it, I'll face my death with a full belly at least.

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Andrea Maria Nash

August 2014

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